quarta-feira, fevereiro 28, 2007

é so rir

Circular Interna (verídica) de uma multinacional americana em Portugal
(no Porto), contra a linguagem dos trabalhadores do Norte.

"It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting
our corporate Headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by
our Portuguese-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating
Policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and
colleagues. In order to avoid such situations please note that all
Staff is kindly requested to IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following

1) Words like merda, caralho, foda-se, porra or puta-que-o-pariu and
other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how
heated the discussion.

2) You will not say cagada when someone makes a mistake, or
ganda-merda if you see somebody either being reprimanded or
making a
mistake, or que-grande-cagada when a major mistake has been made. All
forms derivate from the verb cagar are inappropriate in our

3) No project manager, section head, or executive, under no
circumstances, will be referred to as filho-da-puta, cabrão,
ó-grande-come-merda, or vaca-gorda-da-puta-que-a-pariu.

4) Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta-de-colhões
or coisa-de-maricas and neither will persons who lack initiative as
picha-mole, corno, or mariconso.

5) Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be
referred to as punheta-mental.

6) Do not say esse-cabrão-enche-a-porra-do-juízo if a person is
persistent. When a task is heavy to achieve remember that you must not
say é uma-foda. In a similar way, do not use esse-gajo-está-fodido if
colleague is going through a
difficult situation. Furthermore, you
must not say que-putedo when matters become complicated.

7) When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say
vai-à-merda. Do not ever substitute "May I help you" with
que-porra-é-que-tu-queres?? When things get tough, an acceptable
statement such as "we are going through a difficult time" should be
used, rather than isto-está-tudo-fodido.

8) No salary increase shall ever be referred to as aumento-dum-cabrão.

9) Last but not least after reading this memo please do not say
mete-o-no-cu. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly. We hope
you will keep these directions in mind.

Thank you.